November 15, 2012

Co Sleep, Perchance to Dream

Lately I’ve been squeezing into bed.  This is different than the familiar squeezing into last year’s jeans or squeezing into a packed church service already in progress.  It’s even different than squeezing in grocery shopping on my lunch break or squeezing one more bill payment from last week’s paycheck.  It’s actually quite easy to squeeze into bed but much harder to fall asleep with two young children who become all elbows and knees after dark.

I have only moonlight to guide me when I slip into my bed and between my sons’ slumbering bodies.  (Months ago, I foolishly believed that one night of co-sleeping could be just that--one night.)   I try not to disturb them as this is the only time they have been quiet and still in fourteen hours.  Without fail, I begin to think of a family that lived one hundred years ago.  A family I knew only through the stories my grandmother told. 

There were eleven children in that family.  They slept four to a bed in a wood frame, two story house in northern Minnesota.  When I squeeze into bed these days, that family is never far from my thoughts.  How did they manage?  Northern Minnesota winters....  Eleven children on a miner's salary...  The children shared pairs of shoes that they wore only to church on Sunday.  Upon returning from early Mass, the first group gave their shoes to the next group who would attend a later Mass in what I think of as a religious relay.    In the summer they picked wild blueberries just outside of town where, at the turn of the last century, black bears were said to still roam. 

But the image of my grandmother's family that comes to mind most often is that of several siblings sharing a single bed.  It was said that you didn't dare get up in the middle of the night, even if nature called, because your "space" would disappear.  For a while they tried sleeping in staggered rows, head to toes, head to toes.  They soon found that having your nose positioned among your brothers' feet was no way to induce a peaceful slumber.  Then the children tried sleeping parallel to the headboard.  This worked well until their bodies grew and their legs hung uncomfortably over the side of the bed.
 
Eventually, the eleven children grew up to have families of their own.  They bought homes with enough beds for each of their children.  I wonder if those kids tiptoed to their parents' bedroom, climbed into bed on dark, stormy nights and awakened memories of a large family sharing small spaces, huddling together in order to stay warm during long winter nights. 

As for me, three generations later, images of that close-knit clan still dance in my head.  Especially as I lay awake,  moving not-so-tiny legs and arms in an effort to find some sleeping space amidst my own precious family. 

 

11 comments:

  1. This post makes me smile. I can only imagine how uncomfortable you are, but still happy, too.

    I hope you get good sleep tonight!

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  2. This is a beautiful post my friend!!!

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  3. How times have changed eh? When we used to complain about having to share a room mom always said, at least you don't have to share a bed with your two sisters like I did :) (And that was in the 1940-50's!)

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  4. Amazing how co-sleeping can be so frowned upon these days but up until very recently, it was the norm! My grandma, who had 6 children, was being very judgy of me co-sleeping with Elena...that is until my Mom reminded her that they all co-slept, especially my youngest aunt who slept with my grandma until she was a teenager! They just didn't call it co-sleeping then...they called it best use of space!!

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  5. Great post!! I have often thought about similar things as I am pinned between Elsie and the cat!

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  6. I really enjoyed this post...SR and I haven't been able to co-sleep...when she wakes in the night, she comes briefly into my bed until we're both ready for sleep again, and then she says she's ready for her own bed (crib). This works well for me as I can't sleep with her beside me either :)I'm not against it, just can't sleep comfortably worried she'll roll out of the bed while I'm sleeping.

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  7. I so enjoyed this post! Made me smile! Also made me sad that because I now sleep in a king size bed with hubby and One cat and somehow I feel alone. Enjoy those memories and hold on to them! Big Hugs to YOu!

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  8. What a wonderful post! One of Eliza's doctors calls Eliza's co-sleeping part of her "cave man" instinct, to stay nice and warm and close to her mama :) My family too came from a place where all of the children slept in one bed and often with their parents. So I like to think we're just following family tradition.

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  9. Wonderful post! My mom was one of 8 children in Wisconsin, and shared a bed with her 2 sisters throughout her childhood. I slept with both my babies - Carys is still with me from about 4 or 5 am until we wake up. It's a mixed blessing - I love the cuddles but I sleep more soundly alone. Fiona says she wants to share a bed with Carys when Carys is old enough - it would be nice if that works out.

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  10. Lovely post :-).
    The best part of my day is sleeping next to my little girl. But why does she always have to wake up when I come to join her??? (and then be on my breast for a gazzilion hours?)

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