It's easy to lose sight of how special life is right now. What with the constant feeding, cleaning, soothing, pushing of toy trains and driving to playdates and pediatricians, who has time to stop and smell the roses? Just a few short years ago, I had all the free time in the world, I answered to no one and I slept through the night.
But of course, something was missing.
One way the void manifested was a sinking feeling every time I ended a particularly enjoyable get-together with friends. Whether it was a holiday picnic, a birthday celebration or a girls' getaway weekend, the fun was short-lived. I couldn't escape the feeling that although I had been looking forward to the event for days or even weeks, it was over now and I was going home alone. The majority of friends with whom I shared good times were returning to homes they shared with family. I always drove away with an empty feeling. This was a great day but now that it's over, I'm returning to an empty home.
Now with two little boys in the backseat, I drive home with a much different outlook. Of course I'm thinking about the long list of things that need to be done the instant we pull in the driveway. Diapers changed, meals made and laundry started...But I am also thinking of how my life has changed for the better. I can spend time with friends, share special events, say good-bye with promises to call soon and know that the good times of loving and being loved are not over for the day. I have a family; I never again need to be on the outside looking in. I come home to a full house. What a difference a few years can make.