January 28, 2010

Confession from a reluctant potty trainer...

It's not him, it's me.  Ok, really, at almost three years old H is more than a little reluctant to give up diapers.  But I'm dragging my feet along with him.  And I'm the MOMMY.  I should be leading the way, championing the use of the big boy underpants and trips to his froggy potty chair.  Instead I half-heartedly ask each day if he wants to go sit in the bathroom, wear (insert character of the day) cotton briefs and be a big boy.  I secretly sigh in relief when he responds with a great big "NO WAY, Mom, No Way!"

What is wrong with me?  This is a rite of passage; other parents wear it like a badge of honor.  There certainly are volumes of how-to information out there.  I have eagerly awaited and then cheered for  the other developmental milesones as they appeared.  I've watched with pride as H has changed from baby to toddler to soon-to-be preschooler.  In so many areas he is above average.  (I get to say that, it's my blog.)  So why do neither one of us want to move forward when it comes to toilet training?

I dread the mess.  I dread the inconvenience.  I dread being tied down to the house even more than we are now. When nature calls and we are in public, how on earth will I get him into a bathroom stall while holding on to the baby?  Yes, Liam's stroller will fit in the handicapped stall.  I guess we'll make it work.  I just can't get excited about it. 

I do not want to hold him back from the opportunities he would have if he were in big boy pants.  I've already chosen not to sign him up for t-ball this spring.  He would be the only one on the team in diapers and they discourage this.  I guess it's bad for team morale when the short-stop is laying on a changing pad in rightfield.

When Henry wants to wear underwear and use the toilet, I will encourage him in every way.  I will be his biggest cheerleader and record his achievement with pride.  I promise.  We're  just not there yet.


  1. I totally get it--and I didn't have a second child to hamper getting to the toilet in time.
    My boy had NO interest in potty training until he turned 3. And then I just asked him every 2-3 hours if he needed to try and pee. It went pretty quickly and he was accident free within a month or so. But night time...totally different story. He STILL wears diapers and wets about 95% of the time. I've been waking him at 12-1 at night to get him to pee, but he's a zombie and doesn't really wake (and he's nearly 60 lbs at 6.5 years old--no so easy to pick up and bring to the toilet). We've tried medication and have always limited fluids after 6PM, but still....
    Next I think I'll try some sort of alarm that detects moisture inside the diaper so he wakes up and goes to the toilet. I've tried not to make too big a deal of it and just cheerlead like heck when he gets a dry night. Hopefully by the time he's 7 I won't have to buy any more diapers.

  2. Don't feel bad! I've heard of lots of boys who are potty-trained after 3 years. I definitely think it'll help for you to be home for at least a little while...but the benefit of doing it now is that your sitter will have to help out...otherwise wait until spring break or summer. I remember reading somewhere that when he's applying to colleges or getting married or anything like that it won't matter when he was potty-trained!!!!!!! :)

  3. OK that was way too wordy, and too much about me. What I meant to convey was: Don't worry. When he is ready he will let you know. When you wait until BOTH you and he are ready, it will be a snap.

  4. We're in the same boat here, though Sam is 25 months old. I have friends all around whose children were potty trained around 2 and I was determined to start it around now myself if we were going to have another child in the house. But who knows if another child will ever happen, and for now I'm fine with Sam sitting on the potty and reading books with me for 20 minutes twice a day. The habit I need to quit is asking him if he wants to go on the potty. I need to just do it. I have no doubt that my daycare provider will be helpful and completely on board when I'm ready, but for now I'm not. It helps that most of the messy diapers are at daycare and I only deal with the icky stuff on Saturdays and Sundays.

  5. I totally understand where you come from. I also heard that boys take longer to potty train. At some point, it will click and you will have an easier time to do it. Like others say, summers are best, when they can be near naked, they discover what happens to their bodies. That is what happened to my daughter. But boys are certainly different. I totally understand when you say you are taking a baby and cannot run to a public rest room with two kids! Take it easy on you too!