January 31, 2011

Immediate Opening

Special Education Teacher Wanted

Experience, if not expertise, teaching middle school content to students diagnosed with the following: 

ADHD, BD, ED, LD, cognitively impaired, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, Oppositional/ Defiant Disorder, severe health impairments, legally blind and/or Autism.  Today, one class filled with eighteen of these students awaits your instruction in plant vs. animal cell structure*  State and federal officials mandate that you teach exact same curriculum as their typcially developing peers.  Your students will need to prove what they learned on standardized tests normed on these peers.  If scores are below average, school loses state funding and your name will be listed in the local papers (as well as brought up at every staff meeting).

Absolutely no chance of reassignment/promotion no matter how many other areas of certification you hold.  Summers off but no lunch breaks between September and June.  Competitive pay; enjoy it while you can-- the state pension board has declared bankruptcy.

Interested parties please contact me before I take my children to daycare.  I will hand you my lesson plans and go back to bed.

*followed by  US History: 1492-1865, World Geography and Cultures and finally  Earth/Physical Science for the 8th graders


  1. I don't know how you do it, but I am glad there are teachers like you who stick it out despite the ridiculous expectations placed upon you.

  2. I admire you so much. The amount of time, energy, love, etc. you invest is nothing short of admirable and heroic.
    Please know there are many people out there who do appreciate what you do everyday. You clearly do it out of love, certainly not to become rich.

  3. Ughhh... I won't apply (and I'm LOOKING for new work!) The pension board declared bankruptcy? That cannot mean good things for you... double ughhhh

  4. You are a saint...that's all I have to say!

  5. Jesus Christ, I can't even get college students that are past developmental level classes to understand plant vs animal cell structure, and I know NOTHING about any of those topics listed under the note.


    Saint doesn't come close.