I hate mommy wars. I've seen enough of the trenches to know that it's impossible to transfer one's own standards to anyone else. It's wrong to judge other mothers even if you have walked in their shoes. I've never felt that I could give advice except to point out where I've failed and let that speak for itself.
BUT here's my one exception--the one time I get preachy:
Never tell your children that you can't wait until they are eighteen, grown and gone. Don't tell them exactly how long that will be--twenty two months, because yes, you are counting. Don't tell them that you can't wait until you have your life, your home and your time all to yourself. Don't tell them that you expect them NOT to wait to move until their July birthday because really, when you think about it, they are virtually adults upon graduating high school in June.
Even if you feel this way, don't say it out loud; don't let your actions communicate the thought. Children never forget this harsh message. The off-the-cuff rejection that you find liberating will cause your offspring to carry scars much longer than the 1.8 decades you had to "put up" with them.
There aren't many things I know for sure. You could argue that I haven't yet parented teens so I should never say never. I know that I've made mistakes and I will continue to--but I'm certain that I'll never make this one.