July 17, 2012

I haven't read your post this week

I apologize.  I’m not sure why it was easier to keep up with my reading during the school year.  One would think that I’d have much more time now but I don’t.  The boys are awake from 6 am until 8 pm.  I encourage, cajole, bribe and threaten them after lunch but “quiet time” is often an exercise in futility.

I’m lucky if I can answer two emails and wash the lunch dishes before Round 2 begins.  Actually, at times, I do read a post or two but there’s never enough time to write a response.  Sometimes I refresh the computer after the boys go to bed and find a comment box that I opened at noon.  And those daily digests on SMC message boards I used to read faithfully?  I haven’t opened a single one since returning from our June vacation.

But the real reason I haven’t been attending to Blogger and WordPress is the seemingly unending family crises this July.

I rarely write about my parents.  They have their own lives.  They do not live together and neither one lives near me.  Both have had serious health issues this month.  Everyone’s aging parents have those, I know.  It’s just a lot harder to handle as an only child who has to be in two places at once.  There are no nearby relatives to help either one.  It falls on my shoulders.  You know, those shoulders that are trying to solely support two little kids and maintain their home?

But I’m not going to go on and on about being smack in the middle of the caretaking sandwich.  Every parent is a child and most of us realize that we will face conflicting demands on our time sooner or later.

No, this is about something even more difficult*  It’s about [...] as well as calling hotlines, ambulances and friends. 

Good friends who will answer a text or email with a late night visit and two cups of coffee in hand. 

As difficult as this month has been, I saw friends go out of their way to be there for me--day and night.  Okay, mostly night because that’s when I’d arrive home exhausted and worried.  But I’ve also emailed friends at 4 am, only to have them write back at 6 am, well before they’ve showered or made breakfast for their own children.  

I doubt I could explain the level of grief I feel, even to my closest friends.  No one has died.  No one is still hospitalized.  But with the naming of a diagnosis that was at once shocking and at the same time quite obviously true, I feel a great sense of   loss.  The past was not what I thought it was and the future is quite uncertain.  Watching a relative suffer is painful.  Watching them suffer and refuse treatment is excruciating.

Yet, I  continue to be grateful for my blessings.  I have two wonderful children-- even if they won’t nap on command.  I have amazing friends who treat me just like family.  Their support enables me to keep things close to normal for the boys even as I spend countless hours driving across two states.  Right now, making sure my sons are untouched by this turn of events is my priority.  But I promise to get back to those blogs as soon as I can.


*Note:  Some details deleted with respect for others privacy.


  1. I'm so sorry things have been so hard for you with your parents.

    I'm hoping that things get better very soon...or at the very least your children observe quiet time so you can have a little downtime to yourself.

  2. Lara, I'm so sorry this summer is not giving you the reprieve you sorely need and deserve. And I'm so sorry your parents are dealing with their respective medical issues as well. I'm holding all of you up in prayer.

    I too hope the boys start giving you a much needed break during the day. And you need your rest my friend. Be well.

  3. Lara,
    I am sorry you have so much on your plate. Wishing there was something I could do for you. Take care!

  4. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. Good friends really do come thru when you need them, don't you & it's humbling. Hope if things don't exactly get better that they at least become more manageable.

  5. Agh.. internet ate my response...

    Basically it was sorry to hear about your parents. Regardless of other people experiencing something similar or not, it doesn't diminish how hard it is on you.

    I am glad your friends have been so great. I believe there is family you get (are born into) and fmaily you choose. it sounds like you chose great!

    As for the boys and summer... I TOTALLY get it. There have been MANY a Sunday afternoon when I look forward to Monday morning and day care.

    Take care and try to find a little time for yourself!

  6. Wow - sending hugs your way. I hope things calm down for you soon.

  7. No need to explain anything. Please know that we are here should you need anything. If I can take the boys for a day, bring you coffee or wine, or just listen, please lean this way. Been there in a way, and it is so so hard. On many levels. Big hugs, sister. Big bear hugs.

  8. Oh my, this all sounds overwhelming. I hope your parents' medical problems improve soon. That is just too much for one person to handle. I am glad to hear you have such a strong support network. Wishing you strength and peace!

  9. Hi Lara
    Please let me know if I can help in any way.

  10. I can't even begin to imagine how difficult this is for you. It sounds like you have some wonderful friends. Don't worry at all about keeping up with posts. Take care of you and your family.

  11. I am so Sorry for your pain. Wish there was a way I could help! But know you are always in my thoughts and prayers!