July 26, 2012

I thought about going on hiatus from blogging for a while.  Not because I have nothing to write about--there's plenty going on to narrate these days.  Plenty I can't share due to it's sensitive nature and the fact that I want to be careful not to violate the privacy of family members.  Suffice it to say, I'm getting 3 to 4 hours of sleep each night, my stomach is one big, painful knot and I'm incredilbly cranky during the day.  Add to that the extreme heat that has been hovering over our region and I can safely say that neither my children nor I are enjoying our summer "off".

Liam's behavior is off completely.  He may be the most strong-willed child on the planet.  I say it's hot, he says it's cold.  I say sit down, he runs around the room three times (while staring me down).  I say eat your pretzel, he dumps the salted twist in my purse when I'm not looking.  He won't nap or eat.  Today, across three meals, he ate two string cheese sticks and seven pieces of pepperoni.  I've succombed to the practice of laying next to him until he falls asleep; sometimes he is out immediately at 7:15 but most nights he's up and talking until well past 10 pm.  I've read all the books and tried to keep consistent with our routine, nothing is working.  Nine out of ten nights, he wakes around 2 am crying and saying he's hungry.  I bring him into my bed so that he won't wake his brother.  I rarely can get back to sleep after that.  Maybe I should implement CIO like I did two and a half years ago.  But he's at a different developmental stage now; he's not a baby.  What if CIO experiences cause psychological harm in preschoolers? 

Tonight is one of those rare nights when Liam did fall asleep within five minutes of bedtime.  That's why I have time to post a few thoughts and photos.  We've tried to do lots of fun things this July but my heart just isn't in it--maybe because my head is elsewhere, worrying about my parents.  I hope when the boys look back on these photos they remember the good moments and forget about their mom's bad mood.


  1. Many virtual hugs to you from New York (currently on vacation from Colorado)! I'm so sorry Liam is giving you a run for your money these days! As my grandmother likes to say, "This too shall pass!" I have no words of wisdom, unfortunately, but please know that we're thinking of you and hoping things get better soon! :)

  2. Oh, mama. I wish I could take away the stomach pains and the heartache. What I can do is be here for you, offer my phone number, my doorstep, a wine glass, an ear and a shoulder. I wish it were more, I truly do. You and the boys, or just the boys, are welcome here any time. Honestly.

  3. Hugs to you my dear! All I can say is yes this too will pass. We take the good and the bad and hope the good out ways the bad. But I know one thing for sure they have a really cool mom that IS doing the best she can!!! I so admire YOU!

  4. What can I say that everyone else hasn't already (this includes your last post too!).

    Big virtual hugs to you sweetie... xoxo

  5. Sending hugs. Hoping that your parents are healthy or overcome their ailments. That can't be easy on you. And I'm sure it's not easy to keep your patience when Liam is testing his boundaries. But it sounds like you are doing a great job, and the pictures show two happy children enjoying their summer. It's amazing that with everything you are going through personally, you are still able to give these boys a great summer. Thinking of you.