Remember when it was called "Suntan Lotion"?

I do.  I remember junior high summers at the beach and small brown bottles of Coppertone.  I always used 4.  Coppertone 4 for a gradual tan.  Each formula's bottle was a different color so you could see exactly how bronzed you would be after an afternoon in the sun.  Remember?  The cool girls used 2--the oil that came in an amber bottle.  Only redheads and women over thirty used the Shade formula (6 or 8) in the decidedly paler bottles.  And those white bottles filled with 15--Block?  Why bother going out at all if you needed that kind of protection.  Once and a while you would see it peaking from a mom's diaper bag if she had a young toddler at the beach, but that's about it.

I'm not sure the date of this print ad--I vaguely remember the tag line, but those bottles?  Yep, they're the ones.  Oh, and I'm pretty sure this girl lived two doors down from me in high school.  I always wondered how she got her hair to look like that after a day at the beach.

This slightly off-topic post was inspired by my last trip to Target.  I pushed my cart right past the end cap where these bottles were displayed.  That familiar warm brown plastic and the words "Tanning Lotion" stopped me in my tracks.  Look closely and you will see it's Broad Spectrum 15.  The lowest SPF I've seen in years.  Most people wouldn't dare spend the day outdoors with this on until October.  If I was seen putting this on my sons at the beach in July, someone would call Child Protection Services!

Still there it was, offering the elusive, safe tanning experience.  Can something offer 15x your skin's natural protection and still allow it to tan?  Can Coppertone really be saying we can have it all?   It's actually quite confusing considering that the shelf six inches away offers glow-y bronzers that promise to turn the top layer of my skin slightly amber before I even leave the house.

It's Friday night--this is all I've got.  A rant about commercial beauty products and a walk down memory lane.  Sorry.  It's been a long week...in the sun.

Note to Self

Don't forget what Henry said on Sunday (and if you don't write it down, you will forget--you're getting to be that age, you know).  You may have laughed both times but he was completely serious.

L:  Henry,  I have the brown glove--let's play baseball.
H:  You play.  I'll watch from the stands.

"Hey Mom, how come our car looks like it belongs to someone else?"       Hmmm, you mean after I just spent an hour filling trash bags, scrubbing and vacuuming the interior?

Ready or not, Miss Mollie, here he comes!

On the first day of the new preschool year, I was able to get a quick photo of Liam while we crossed the parking lot.  I've always loved pictures of children walking away from the camera--they seem so natural and candid. 

 

 

A minute later we arrived at the door.  I asked Liam to "stand right here so I can take your picture".  This is what I got

 

 

and this

 

 

 and this

 

 

and this as well

 

Yep, it's going to be a great year.  With front row tickets to the Liam Show, how could it not?

I Can't Make This Stuff Up

It's called a Pop Phone. The ad says it eliminates exposure to radiation and makes your smartphone easier to use.  I first saw one in a catalog for tweens and then this weekend there they were--at a big box store in my neighborhood.  Just goes to show, everything old is new again!

Speaking of phones, I just ordered two of these for the summer. 

Henry has known our address for two years and can recite all kinds of personal information (including his mother's real age, thank you very much) but he can't remember our cell phone number.  We go to lots of fairs, fests and other large venues in the summer and I've always worried about being separated from one of my children.  We've talked about finding a police officer or a mommy to ask for help but I'm not sure clear heads would prevail in an actual loss situation.  For a couple of years, I've wanted to make these myself but could only find letter beads in the craft store--never number beads.  Last year at Disney and all the summer fairs, the boys wore plastic bracelets with my phone number written in black Sharpie.  You can imagine how goofy that looked!  Well, I should have tried Etsy a lot sooner.  I probably couldn't have made them any cheaper than the price I paid for two Find Me Fast personalized bracelets.  I'm not sure if the boys will wear them on their wrists or ankles, but if they want corn dogs and cotton candy, they'll wear them!

(I) Read All About It

Recently I picked up a collection of stories from the trenches.  I was hooked from reading this on the book jacket:

What is parenting really like?  Is it the sweet scent of a warm, milky face?  Is it the pride in seeing your child's performance as a tree in the school play?

Afterbirth: Stories You Won't Read in a Parenting Magazine

          is the unvarnished truth about parenting and how it's full of surprising if not idiotic situations.  Several writers, directors and actors contributed to this book.  I didn't recognize many of their names but I sure recognized what they were going through.

from Dana Gould after being asked if she was going to teach English to her two daughters adopted from China: 

I cleared my throat and calmly answered, No.  I didn't mean it, obviously, but as I've gotten older, I've picked up a neat little trick.  In the old days, before I was a parent, if someone said something so obviously ill conceived, I would frown...pepper them with questions designed to force a confrontation with the folly of their verbal flatulence.  Then I would smile benevolently and escort them back into the sunshine of my thinking.  But now I'm too busy.  Now when someone drops a dumb-bomb, I calculate how much time it will take to disagree and argue with that person, then agree with them and use that time later in the day to treat myself to an ice cream sandwich.

Seriously?  I thought I was the only one who did that.

and from Mo Gaffney (who like me, says she "waited til I was somewhat elderly to have a child")

My biggest challenge has been patience.  On my best day I'm not a patient person, and--I don't know if you are aware of this--kids require patience.  They test your every last nerve and it's very difficult to reason with them. 

she goes on to perfectly capture the experience of mommy guilt

Prior to my yelling "Stop it" my son was no doubt going to become, I don't know, the poet laureate of the United States or the next Bono or something, and my yelling 86'd that. Some neuron in his brain fired, and now he'll torture ants and want to live in my garage till he's forty...[and] because I yelled "Stop it" in his ninth year he won't be a Doctor Without Borders....Or maybe my yelling "Stop it" will be what he tells his friends when they're discussing their bad childhoods.  He'll say "I was never the same after that yell."

And then there's Dani Klein Modisett whose story caught my interest with an opening paragraph about doing three things at once "even though caring for an infant in my forties has me so exhausted my head feels numb a lot of the day, I still feel compelled to multitask."   In a series of daydreams, she envisions herself rapidly aging as her son reaches milestones like graduation, marriage and fatherhood.  After a good cry, she comforts herself

Aha!  I've stumbled on a perk of being an older mommy.  Look how wise I am!  I lean in and kiss Gideon's nose.  Oh, and don't be afraid to settle down young.  Younger than your friends, I add, tucking him in.  Younger than is legal.  I'll explain when you're older...

Afterbirth is just the type of book I enjoy these days.  One that makes me smile, doesn't take long to read and makes feel like I'm not the only one who feels parenting is a lot like riding a roller coaster:     ups, downs, sudden stops/starts and oh,  a lot of screaming.

Just for Fun - A Blog Game

My friend at Hot Confidence, invited me to play this game.  It's Saturday night and this is as much fun as I'm allowed with two sleeping sons upstairs.

The rules:

1. you must post the rules

2. post eleven facts about yourself on the blog post

3. answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post,and then create eleven new questions for the people you've tagged

4. tag people and link them on your post

5. let them know you've tagged them.

Eleven Things About Me

1. I do not have red hair.
2. I went to the same university for my undergraduate and graduate degrees
3. I have one year's credits towards my MSW
4. I taught myself to knit from a book
5. I didn't get my driver's license until I was 22
6. I have never seen Star Wars
7. I have never read Harry Potter (but I have seen the first movie)
8. I steal food off my children's plates when they are not looking
9. I told my sons that Chuck E Cheese's is closed permanently
10. I can eat my weight in Thai food
11. I am repulsed by feathers.  They're disgusting

Answers to questions sent to me by Hot Mama:
Do you live in the state you were born in? YES

How many times have you moved in your lifetime? 18  (explains a lot doesn't it?)

Have you ever been to Mexico? YES

Do you have a tattoo (or more)? NO

How many children do you have? TWO

Are you left or right handed? RIGHT

Have you ever been to New York City? NO

How many siblings do you have? NONE

Have you ever swam in the Pacific Ocean? I don't think so

Have you ever been hospitalized (aside from having children)? NO

What is your favorite color? Blue Green Swirl


Questions for Theresa, Cindy, Jennifer and Jody

1. Are you eating ice cream right now?
2. Why not?
3. Can you make spaghetti sauce from scratch?
4. Why in the world would you do that?
5. Have you ever forgotten the birthday of someone important to you?
6. What is your favorite cookie?
7. Do you have some in the house now?  (I'll wait while you check)
8. Do you live within 100 miles of where you were born?
9. Can you ice skate?
10. Do you take those little soaps from hotel rooms?
11. What about the shampoo?

What I'm Laughing at Now

I saw this on the toy shelf at Target. Spin to Clean Laundry Barbie.  Really?  What fun.  Girls, pretend Barbie has mixed her lights with her darks and now has nothing but pink underwear.  Oh, wait a minute...
Let's make believe that Barbie's dryer has eaten yet another sock.  We'll have hours of fun just like Mom when she is washing the third load of towels this week.  Wait, there's more!  When the clothes are dry, you get to, yes, FOLD them!  The fun cycles again and again.  Act now and receive a tiny spool of fabric softener sheets--just the right size to roll behind the dryer and never be seen again.

What I'm Laughing at Now

No, this is not a photo of my boys.  They're cute but I don't want you to think I spent $100 at One Step Ahead to purchase this mixer.  If you have the print catalog, you will see that the photo's caption declares, "It really works!"  Good thing, too, because if I spend that kind of money on a plastic sandbox toy, I want to be certain that my preschoolers can actually use it to mix cement in the backyard.

What I'm Laughing at Now

Go ahead, you try it. I'll wait.  You can let me know how it works...

I don't know what's funnier, the photo or the product reviews at One Step Ahead.  But then, I needed a good laugh.  My toddler came down with a very nasty cold.  Liam wasn't sleeping, eating or playing like his usual self for several (l-o-n-n-n-g) days.  He still has a cough and very runny nose, but isn't presing his hand to his eyes and cheeks and saying "ow, ouchie" anymore. He's probably no longer contagious, but  I wouldn't get too close to him if I were you; he uses anything he can get his hands on to wipe his nose.  Sorry, I'm still not buying this product.

Prior to Liam's bout with this uncommonly fierce common cold, Henry went through a developmental surge that cause many sleepless nights in our home.  One record-breaking night, he woke me six times!  I look forward to a full night's sleep but have no idea when that will happen.  For now, I'll settle for getting through the next few days at work and enjoying our spring break next week.

Have you read Jen Singer?

I've just discovered her books and website, Momma Said.  She is a much needed dose of reality, virtual support, and comic relief.  Almost everything I've read in Stop Second Guessing Yourself:  The Toddler Years applies to my relationship with Liam right now.  For instance,

(S)he Loves You, (S)he Loves You Not     Some days, your toddler has more mood swings than Faye Dunaway in Mommie Dearest...At least it can feel that way.  The terrible truth is that the Terrible Twos start early and last a long, long time.  What can you do when your toddler adores you one minute and abhors you the next?  p. 144

Several reviewers have compared the author to a neighbor with whom you chat over the back fence as you both go through your mommy day.  If Jen Singer was my neighbor, I'd never get any work done and my kids would be wearing last week's socks.  She is just that much fun.   I have ordered Jen's You're a Good Mom and am looking forward to reading it in all my spare time.  Like when the boys go off to college.

What I'm Laughing at Now

Twenty to Make: Knitted Fast Food by Susie Johns

Look closely, there's grilled cheese and tacos in the background.  And I think that's Pad Thai in the bowl on the left.  Yes, it's a real book.

What I'm Laughing at Now

Remember when the purchase of every piece of baby gear was a big decision? 

• Does my little one need this? 
• How long will my little one use this? 
• Can I afford to buy this for my little one? 
• Where will I put it when my little one isn't using it? 

Most importantly and the impetus for much research both online and in depth questioning of other moms:

• Is it safe for my little one?

Here's an item that polarizes moms around the block and around the world:  baby walkers.  Never put a baby in those contraptions.  These are great; we used ours all the time and now Johnny is a star on the track team.  Your baby will fall down the stairs.  Your baby will entertain himself for hours.  Your baby's legs will grow sideways from his ears.  You need one of these to teach your seven month how to walk properly.  There's been a massive recall.  French mommies use them and they don't get fat.  The debate is endless.  By the time you decide, your infant is walking into his preschool classroom and hanging up his own coat.

Let's settle this right here and now.  Future mommies will thank us for this definitive answer.  They can then move on to the which should I feed first, fruits or veggies? debate.  (We all know that they'll be discussing that one until the child eats his first Happy Meal.)  Scroll down for visual proof--but didn't we all know this instinctively?  These walkers lead to trouble.

Two Reasons Why I Shouldn't Yell...

...at my children when the "door ajar" dashboard light comes on:

1. They are still strapped in their five-point harness carseats and couldn't possibly shut their doors even if they wanted to.
2. There is a slight chance that it is the driver's side door that is flung open so widely that it blocks the adjacent parking space but I'm just too stressed to notice.

This is what it's like around here...almost every day*

Really.  I wouldn't make this stuff up.  

And then there are the sound bytes:

"Owwwww!"(from upstairs after bedtime)

"What's wrong, Henry?"

"I hit myself in the head with a flashlight"

and those dreaded words no one wants to hear at 6 am:

"Mommy, the doggie pooped on my GeoTrax."

Really.  I couldn't make this stuff up.

* Except for today--home with icky-sick toddler

What I'm Laughing at Now

From the catalog description: 
It sizzles and drips....watch as "grease" trickles into the drip pan below.  Role play cooking just got healthier!  Requires 3 AA batteries.

Well, I guess if you were looking for a gift idea for the child who has everything this might be an option.  Around here, though,  I tend to avoid toys that mimic fat pouring from pork products.

Liam and His One True Love

Little does he know, the object of his affection also has a regular late-night rendezvous with me. It's all very dysfunctional...

What I'm Laughing at Now

 Have You Seen My Potty? asks Suzy Sue (who has something very important to do).

Use your inside voice, dear...

Because there is a slight chance that my friends' children occasionally glance at Bubbee 'n Me,  I'm determined to keep this post (and entire blog) G rated.  Therefore, I'm not sure if this will translate well, but  I couldn't not share it:

This week the boys and I went to Kohl's department store to use a ten dollar coupon.  I spent $55 by the way.   Upon entering the store,  I noticed that they were offering plush Toy Story characters for $5 each. It's really difficult to find cute, nonviolent toys for boys so I immediately put four of  them in our cart.

I proceeded to browse the clearance racks for summer clothing.  The entire time we were shopping, Henry SHOUTED, "I want my [insert above character's name here]...Liam has a [   ] too...Get my [   ]...Where's my [   ]?"

Ok, it was a lot funnier on Facebook, but you get the idea.  I can't take that boy anywhere!

Spring Break 2010

Well, of course it didn't go as planned.  Mostly it was just the 3 C's:  cooking, cleaning and corraling toys.  However, there were a few truly wonderful moments during the week.  The boys saw both their grandparents and had two playdates with children their age.  Henry helped me hang colored plastic eggs on the tree out front so the Easter Bunny would know to stop at our house next week.  We also made an impromptu visit to the "tool store".  Henry had no idea such a place existed.  I am going to take him to Menard's more often.  Free parking and more tools than this three year old has ever seen. Much better than the expensive downtown museums!

Sunday morning during breakfast, I pointed out a robin hopping through the backyard.  Sensing our presence at the window, the bird began to head away from the house.  Henry asked me about the the robin's actions as I was clearing the table.  I mumbled my standard, before coffee answer: "I have no idea, Henry."

Next thing I know, H has slid the door open and is shouting, "Robin, whaddya doing there?"  I was trying so hard not to laugh, I thought tears would come from my eyes.  "He goin' gramma's house, mom....robin's gramma's house."  Now we know.

Speaking of the backyard, check out the photos of Henry doing a little spring cleaning.  He's a great help and so industrious.  He doesn't get it from me but I try to encourage him nonetheless.

All week long people kept saying to me, "It must be wonderful to have a whole week of vacation with your boys."  Hmmm, vacation?  Really? People don't say to stay-at-home-moms, "It must be really great to be on vacation every single day of your kids' lives," do they?  Sure I'm not heading out to teach at 7:45, but I'm not sitting on the couch eating bon-bons either. I'm still up at 5 am and not sitting down until 9 pm. Vacation, time-off and holiday are all terms that have no relevance in my life these days. 

I'm not really complaining--I had plenty of days off before the boys were born.  I read books, did crafts, gardened and traveled.  I watched hours and hours of BBC mysteries, Friends episodes and talk shows but still couldn't fill all my time.  Now it's the complete opposite, I multitask while multitasking.  "Finding Balance" is a concept for glossy magazine articles.  This is real life. 

Well, I'm off to fold some some laundry as I brush my teeth and read the mail.  A perfectly normal evening around here.

What I'm Laughing at Now

Yoga for Preschoolers