Ah, Mother's Day. It's complicated. Believe me, I wouldn't trade the experience of mothering these two boys for anything in the world. It was worth the wait.
I've wanted to be a mother since I was fourteen years old. Seriously. I was on the fast track to a good college with a 4.0 at a prestigious high school. I didn't have a boyfriend (but I did have an enormous, earth-shattering crush on a gorgeous boy--I guess that's another post). One day a friend joked that the way I was standing made me look pregnant. I laughed because even at that young age and wanting nothing more, I knew I would never be a mom.
Two and a half decades later, I was still childless. And yet today I am celebrating my fifth Mother's Day. I think I can be forgiven for still having a hard time believing I am a mom. Especially when most days I feel like the housekeeper/nanny or the summer babysitter (or worse yet, the pet sitter who also watches the kids). Maybe that's because mother is also a verb. Here's what an online thesaurus has to say:
|Synonyms:||attend, baby sit, consider, foster, keep an eye on, keep tabs on, look after, mind, mind the store, minister, mother, nurse, nurture, pay attention to, protect, provide for, ride herd on, sit, take pains, tend, treasure, wait on, watch, watch over|
I always wanted to be a teacher yet I did not step in the classroom until I was 28. Five years into the job I had no problem identifying myself as a teacher. Truth be told, five weeks into my first job I felt like I had been doing this forever. (Note: Veteran teachers do not cotton to that attitude.) So why is it that motherhood still takes me by surprise?
There is more to this day than meets the eye. It's not just about mothering. It's also about being mothered. Can the two ever be separated? See, I told you so. It's complicated.