May 8, 2011

Mother: Noun and Verb

Ah, Mother's Day.  It's complicated.  Believe me, I wouldn't trade the experience of mothering these two boys for anything in the world.  It was worth the wait.

I've wanted to be a mother since I was fourteen years old.  Seriously.  I was on the fast track to a good college with a 4.0 at a prestigious high school.  I didn't have a boyfriend (but I did have an enormous, earth-shattering crush on a gorgeous boy--I guess that's another post).  One day a friend joked that the way I was standing made me look pregnant.  I laughed because even at that young age and wanting nothing more, I knew I would never be a mom. 

Two and a half decades later, I was still childless.  And yet today I am celebrating my fifth Mother's Day.  I think I can be forgiven for still having a hard time believing I am a mom.  Especially when most days I feel like the housekeeper/nanny or the summer babysitter (or worse yet, the pet sitter who also watches the kids).  Maybe that's because mother is also a verb.  Here's what an online thesaurus has to say:

Synonyms: attend, baby sit, consider, foster, keep an eye on, keep tabs on, look after, mind, mind the store, minister, mother, nurse, nurture, pay attention to, protect, provide for, ride herd on, sit, take pains, tend, treasure, wait on, watch, watch over

I always wanted to be a teacher yet I did not step in the classroom until I was 28.  Five years into the job I had no problem identifying myself as a teacher.  Truth be told,  five weeks into my first job I felt like I had been doing this forever.  (Note:  Veteran teachers do not cotton to that attitude.)  So why is it that motherhood still takes me by surprise?

There is more to this day than meets the eye.  It's not just about mothering.  It's also about being mothered.  Can the two ever be separated?  See, I told you so.  It's complicated.


  1. You are so right Its complicated! I am so glad that you have had a chance to do both be a teacher and also a MOM... I know its a big Job to do both! You are a MOM I so Admire and I think that you are Super at what YOU do! I cant help it I just think YOU are awesome!

  2. I'm the exact same way Lara. Most of the time I feel like Tate's babysitter and that his real parents are going to show up at any minute. And I've always wanted to be a mother too. I so wonder what we all thought it would feel like. Not the all encompassing love part, but the day to day part.
    Oh my...Tate just woke up and I just put him in my bed, so we'll sleep together tonight!! Now I feel like a mom!! Happy Mother's Day friend!!!

  3. I've always asked brand new mom's if they can believe the infant is really theirs, that no one is going to come and take the baby back. I've always, always wanted to know how that feels, because I too think I would feel as if I was living a dream. Because as much as I love my stepkids - they have a mom.

    Sometimes I find it strange that I'm a married woman with real, grown up responsibilities.

    Like C2Hope said - I think you are a wonderful mom (and teacher) and I think its wonderful that you became a mom despite all the odds. Happy Mother's Day Beautiful Girl xo