March 5, 2012

Just for this week

Garrison Keillor says, Nothing you do for a child is ever wasted.  Okay it's not a biblical quote or even an excerpt from Dr. Phil's closing minute but I do think it's a very powerful thought.  So just for this week, I'm going to choose to believe it.

Nothing you do for a child is ever wasted.

Trying to be everything to everyone continues to take a toll on my relationships with the people who mean the most to me.  I haven't called my nearest and dearest friends in weeks--maybe months.  I have nothing--no energy, no wisdom--left for the students in my last classes of the day.  And my own children...those two boys who must make their way through this world with me for a parent?  Those boys who, at ages three and five, are forming their view of the world and their view of themselves through daily interactions with a mother who barely has time to microwave dinner before screaming about the 500 K'nex pieces on the floor?  What will become of them?  Will the younger one believe that he is inherently inferior since his mother blames him for every mess, every delay, every... DVD that has scratches?  Will both boys grow to hate technology because the laptop and phone stole the maternal attention that rightly belonged to them?

It's all too much to contemplate.  No wonder I have trouble sleeping despite being utterly exhausted.   The knowledge that I don't have what it takes to do this parenting thing right makes me want to throw in the towel (which would be easy to do having already locked myself in the bathroom).

Nothing you do for a child is ever wasted.

If this is really true then I don't have to play Legos for 3 hours or read all 200 pages of the book they bring to my lap.  If I build for 15 minutes and read for 10, I have still given my children something worthwhile.  Right?  And if, when on the stairs, I take my son's outstretched hand even though he's perfectly capable of holding the railing, am I not making a 20 second difference in the way he starts his day? 

This week, amid the realization that I haven't enough time for half of everything I need to do, I'll remind myself

Nothing you do for a child is ever wasted.

Over and over again, as I become engulfed in the multitasking, single-working-mom week, I'll say to myself

Nothing you do for a child is ever wasted.

There's probably a better, more inspiring way to end this post but I haven't the time to think of it.  My son just asked me to come sit on the floor with him and a pile of Legos. 

Nothing you do for a child is ever wasted.

6 comments:

  1. When you find out what "right" is in this parenting thing, would you clue me in? It's easier to see from outside than to realize from the inside, but you're doing the job of the single mom, and quite successfully. I don't know how you do it, to be honest. And by 'do it', I am not assuming your house is spotless and you relax by the fire each night. I mean, your house is still standing and you haven't locked the kids in the bathroom (let's admit, locking them up crosses our minds). Remember, there is no universal 'right' to the job. The kids love their mom, what more matters? Certainly, clean floors can't compete with joyous smiles and sweet, warm cheeks and "I love you" at the end of the day.

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  2. What do you mean you're not getting this parenting thing right? You have two amazing little boys who love you and worship the very ground you walk on! And a little puppy too! What more needs to be right to achieve that? Though I know too well the absolute feeling of being overwhelmed, the feeling that this life that you wanted SO very much has disintegrated into a hamster wheel that you never have time to get off of. That each 24 hours is exactly the same only your children are older. The feeling that nothing you really WANT to do ever gets done or even more than a passing thought.

    But, this too shall pass, for when it comes to raising our children, the days are long, but the years are short. So we have to remember that nothing we do for our children is wasted.

    Beautiful post my friend. Thank you for giving me time to reflect and consider as always. And though you feel like you've neglected your friends or those around you, you offer a huge part of yourself through this blog, for which I'll be forever grateful.

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  3. You are so articulate. I love your ending to this post. As I venture into T42 I have so many of these thoughts on a regular basis. Can I handle 2? How will having a second affect my time with my first? But I think that even spending a few minutes with your boys doing something they enjoy is definitely time not wasted. It's funny how you mention holding your son's hand even though he can do it himself. I was just thinking the same thing as I fed my baby with a spoon even though she is perfectly capable of putting the food in her mouth on her own.

    Just by writing this post, you have proven that you are not wasting a second. You realize where your hardships lie and that's what makes you a great parent! Keep inspiring me!

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  4. You are doing such a great job with those boys! Whenever I look at myself and all the things I think I'm doing wrong, all I have to do is look at the kids...they are the greatest reflection of what we do for them. Your kids are perfect because YOU are perfect! (okay, none of us really want to be "perfect," but you know what I mean!)

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  5. You are an inspiration. I think your boys will grow up remembering how much their mom loved them. They will have learned valuable lessons in work ethics, independence, understanding...just to name a few. You have offered a very candid look into your life with what you share here & from the outside looking in, you set an amazing standard on parenting "right"

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  6. Great post and a great reminder.

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