Weekend Highlights (in Pictures) because after all this, I'm too tired to blog

Before

After

Bunny Bites

No Peeping--I have a surprise for you

preparing for the egg hunt

let's get started!

piecing it all together

a blessed basket and family tradition preserved for a 4th generation

And now back to our regularly scheduled weekends!

The holidays last forever around here.   They start mid-October with Halloween preparations (costumes and treat bags for the boys' classmates), continue with the most dramatic of all family get togethers--Thanksgiving, roll into Christmas (candy canes and treat bags for the boys' classmates) , skate through the New Year, the Superbowl and Valentine's Day (cards and treat bags for the boys' classmates).  FINALLY we arrive at the February birthdays (candles and treat bags for the boys' classmates).  I'm tired of celebrating.  There I said it.

But you know what? It's still fun to look at the pictures.

forgot the candles

Second Grade treats

filling party bags

make sure this one has a balloon

 

remembered the candles

birthday morning

party cake, party smile

One morning in a flurry of last minute preparations, Liam pointed to his drawing of me--the one that's been displayed on the kitchen cabinet since September.  "That's you today, Mommy."  

Even without a mirror nearby, I'm certain that's what I looked like at seven am on Henry's birthday.  Celebrating is hard work--who has time to comb their hair?

Wordless Wednesday Eve

This weekend we were gifted with an unseasonably warm and sunny Saturday so we headed straight outdoors for the largest nature preserve we could find. (Originally, Saturday was to be a stay-at-home-day after our busy, stressful and sleep-deprived week but how can you pass up 70 sunny degrees in late October?)

What's so special about this trail sign? Amid complaining that his feet hurt and he was too tired to keep going uphill, Liam stopped and looked at this sign.  I was about ten feet away but I could hear him, very seriously saying "bb....ah...gg, bahhgg, bahg!"

"Mom, the bog is this way.  What's a bog?"

I was so EXCITED!  Liam sounded out a word all by himself for no reason other than he wanted to know what it said.  This is reading.  Not phonics homework, not a school readiness inventory, not a sight word reader that counts toward a free pizza coupon.  Reading.  For the sake of knowledge.  So EXCITING.  (If I do say so myself!)

We kept walking and saw many creatures but not the red-tailed hawk we were looking for.  Nor did we have a bald eagle sighting.  Most of the fauna were crawling, hopping and slithering at our feet.  We had to be careful where we stepped.  In fact, we were still in the parking lot when we came across three caterpillars and a tiny snake.

                                          Woolly Bear caterpillar  (Pyrrharctia isabella, in case you're wondering)

baby snake in the parking lot

There was so much to see I could have stayed for hours, but the wind picked up and the boys were beginning to tire.  We finished our outing with a story and puzzle inside the large nature center.   I bet you can guess which Dr. Seuss book they have on their shelves!

Henry and I enjoyed the huge observation deck.  As for Liam, aside from the bathrooms, he was attracted to a large screen on the wall.  "What channels do they have, Mom?"  He was clearly disappointed when I said that it only showed a loop of still photographs taken at the preserve.  You can take the child out of the suburbs, but you can't take the suburbs out of the child. 

We returned home exhausted but also in a much better mood than we had been in all week.  Despite Liam's longing for cable tv, there's nothing like a day spent together under a big blue sky.

It's really not about the apples...

2009

2014

Here are some photos from our recent visit to the apple orchard.  As you can see, we've been going to this particular farm since Henry was about two and half years old.  It is wonderful to have this family tradition.  I did not do stuff like this as a child and there are few, if any traditions I can remember sharing year after year.  I'm not really sure how to create lasting memories for my children but this annual outing seems like a step in the right direction.

The weather was absolutely perfect--we stayed for six hours.  (It's quite easy to stay that long because the owners have added about fifty percent more activities in the past three or four years.)  We enjoyed the tractor ride to the orchard and filled our bags quickly.  The bees were plentiful and when I mentioned something to one of the employees she looked at me like I had grown three heads.  It took me a few minutes to realize why.  No bees, no apples on the trees!

We are lucky to live in an area where we have our pick of farms/orchards but we'll always visit this one.  Admission price is about the same as all the others (expensive!) but once you are in, you can do everything there is to do.  Six hours?  I'd say that we got our money's worth.  And another year of great memories.

Henry climbed the tractor but Liam preferred these!

Trying to find their way out of the corn maze

A new activity this year--super simple construction, hours of fun!

Finding Our Way

Our family of three went away this weekend--leaving behind the stress of school, commuting and a (seemingly) crumbling-all-around-us house.  We stayed at a hotel with a pool and brought lots of snacks to enjoy while watching television from well-jumped-on beds.  I made sure we spent lots of time outdoors and I purposely did not pack my tablet or the boys' iPad.

All this was in effort to "reset" our family life.  The daily frustration and petty annoyances have been building since mid-August.  I don't think anyone who observed us would describe us as a happy family.  In fact, I'm pretty sure they'd call Supernanny.  The stress and anger were spiraling out of control--it was something we three passed back and forth, back and forth until I became scared and desperate.  Something had to be done and I was pretty sure we all needed to get away from our physical surroundings in order to regroup.

The book Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids has been a tremendous help.  I started reading it last month but was able to concentrate more fully on the chapters while away this weekend.  I first came across this title on Chasing Rainbows, a blog by another choice mom.  I am very grateful to Shannon for sharing this resource that is changing our lives for the better.

There's also a companion website (or is the book the companion to the website?)  Either way Dr. Laura Markham's Aha Parenting has been a lifesaver.  I can't say I've perfected her strategies/techniques but I am constantly trying to apply them throughout the hours of our long, exhausting days.  Parenting is hard work.  Don't be fooled--it doesn't get easier when they are out of diapers.

When my vocal chords have completely recovered (I'm on day 9 of a full blown, textbook case of laryngitis) I plan on having a family meeting to introduce implementation of one of Dr. Markham's tips--fifteen minutes of special time, alone with each child, each day.  Even more difficult than scheduling this into our crazy busy schedule, will be getting the other child to understand he's on his own for fifteen minutes.  Henry may be able to handle it--with Liam it's going to be touch and go.  But it's worth a try...once I can fully explain it to them.

One piece of advice I didn't wait to implement was more hugs.  Dr. Markham recommends 12 per day.  Apparently humans need 4 hugs/day to survive, 8 for maintenance and 12 for growth.  I don't actually keep count, but I'd say I've increased the amount of hugs I give by about 200%.  I have stopped using the car line at their school; I park instead and get out with the boys.  That way I can sneak in another hug before we start our demanding days.  It is helping.  Sometimes they are "side hugs" and sometimes it's a kiss on the top of the head--I've yet to find a wrong way.  I think Liam has been caught off guard at the hugs he's received when his behavior is less than desirable.  He'll start whining about what I packed for lunch and say that I'm the meanest mom ever.  Before he can finish his complaint, I hug and kiss him.  He doesn't know what hit him.  At the very least, he loses his train of thought.

I'll finish up with a few photos from our outdoor adventures during this healing weekend.  I can only hope to keep the positive momentum going now that we are back to our suburban work/school routine.  I'm certainly going to try.

The boys spent hours swimming while I sat and read.  Talk about win/win!

One Thousand Words

No, not this one.

This one.

And it's only worth 1,000 words to me.  I decided to take this photo at the moment I realized that although I've come full circle geographically speaking, I am light years from where I once was. You see, I snapped this picture on a Saturday afternoon while visiting the neighborhood where I grew up.  Well, one of the neighborhoods.  We moved.  A lot.  More on that later.  Maybe.

What you see in this photo is the cluttered floor of the passenger seat area in my SUV.  There are audio book sets from the library and a Phineas & Ferb soundtrack that Liam insisted on checking out.  My cell phone charger is plugged in next to a large canister of wet wipes.  So what?  It looks like a random mess. And my car always looks like this.

 And this is where it gets really interesting but probably only to me...

On this particular afternoon, I had snagged a rare parking space behind a drugstore (national chain, moving offshore to avoid taxes, let's not get bogged down in the details).  This wasn't just any parking lot--I distinctly remember walking through this exact lot and the store's back door (strange in and of itself--how many stores have a front and back door?) when I was ten years old.  That summer I was on a mission to find the perfect lip gloss and this was the only store within walking distance.  I seem to recall purchasing something sticky, shiny and artificially strawberry.  More than that, I remember how alone I was.  More than alone.  I was invisible.  I doubt anyone saw me enter the store, pick out the gloss and walk the two blocks to an empty second floor apartment.  New lip gloss was the highlight of my day.  Probably my week.

You see, from the age of nine, I practically raised myself and though I may not have been literally invisible, I went mostly unseen for the next ten years.  (Seriously.  I didn't go to my prom or high school graduation.  No one said a thing to me about either before or after the big days.  That's just how it went.)

Fast forward many decades and I find myself in the same parking lot, by the same back door but now I drive a comfortable car and it is littered with evidence of my family.  My family.  The one I created out of nothing.  (Okay, not out of nothing--I mean, you do follow this blog, right?)  Picture books, Disney cds, booster seats and a sticky, icky trash bag hanging from the armrests.  All things I dreamed of but never imagined could be a part of my life when I was completely invisible, scurrying home to put on my lip gloss and watch reruns of Gilligan's Island while eating ham from a plastic envelope (sorry, Buddig, but that stuff isn't even real meat is it?)

I'll say it again--those two people with the same name and social security number aren't decades apart, they are light years removed from each other. So, yes, the photo is worth one thousand words and that moment--the one when I realized all this-- is priceless.

Mid Summer Madness

 

Summer means so many fun experiences that there's little time to write about them.  It also means spending 100% of my waking hours taking care of, watching over, cleaning up, laughing with, chasing after and driving around two very active boys.  These first few photos are from a wonderful lakefront festival that has been a Wisconsin tradition for decades.  In my opinion, other cities may imitate Summerfest but they never manage to duplicate it.

I thought the boys would be terrified to ride the SkyGlider
 but they thoroughly enjoyed it!  Three times!

We have been doing one big activity (that takes us out of town) each week and then staying closer to home the rest of the days.  Often, the boys will request to stay home. (Like yesterday when I offered to drive to a huge playground on a beautiful 75 degree day.)  They like to swing in the backyard, get snacks and popsicles from the kitchen, jump on the sofa and watch cartoons.  Go figure.  Thankfully we do have a few structured activities scheduled so I don't think we'll turn into couch potatoes anytime soon.

archery lessons

guided hikes at the nature preserve

Soccer game and Liam's first goal!

I continue to struggle with balance this summer--household chores/repairs, me time (or complete lack of it), healthy food, limited screen time and keeping to a reasonable budget.  Less structure (ie, no school days) means this elusive balance is even more difficult to achieve.  I know I need to live in the moment but then who is going to be responsible for keeping this family "ship" on course?  Not to mention, who is going to do the grocery shopping?

Well, I'll worry about that tomorrow--for now, we're off to a 4th of July parade and a day filled with hot dogs and ice cream.  How's that for living in the moment?